Sunday 6 August 2017

Moving on from grief

About two months ago, my mum passed away suddenly. Nothing prepares you for the shock of something like this, from receiving the initial phone call at 2am, to arriving at the hospital to see mum lying in an ICU bed, to receiving the final confirmation about 24 hours later that mum had passed away. In those first few days, it all seemed surreal, like some crazy nightmare that I was waiting to wake from. Each morning I would think, ‘what a horrible dream’, only to realise it was reality. 

From mum passing away on the Tuesday morning, to planning the funeral for the Friday, those few days were filled with shock, tears, floods of messages from family and friends, mixed in with the adrenaline of busily planning for the funeral in less than 72 hours. It wasn't until I flew home to Tasmania on the Saturday that the exhaustion really set in, and those next few days were filled with a lot of (attempted) sleep. The weeks following that, up until now, have included some ok days, where I think that life seems somewhat normal, whereas other days, something small will trigger the flow of tears and all I want to do is stay at home, or there will be nights where mum appears so vividly in my dreams that I wake up and think she is still alive, until those first few seconds upon waking pass, and I remember the reality.

Initially, I thought I wanted to stop blogging. The idea of posting new content each week focusing on some positive aspect of life, whether it be a new cafe or restaurant review, a post about a new area of Tasmania I have explored, or a new recipe, just seemed so trivial, and to be honest, wrong. How could I write these posts that, on the whole, had a positive, happy light, when my family and I had gone through such a horrible, sudden event? However, as I have been thinking about this in these past few weeks and months, I've slowly come to realise that life does keep going on, and mum would not have wanted any of us to stop doing the things we love.

I wanted to write this post, however, to highlight the fact that even though I am planning on getting back into blogging, I don't want my 'positive' blog posts to seem fake, or even as though everything is back to normal. From what a lot of people who have lost close family members or friends have told me, you will never 100% get over the pain and loss that you experience. It does get better, but it takes time, and the first birthday, first Christmas, first everything in the future without mum is going to be the hardest, with things slowly getting better over time, even if it will never be completely better. However, all I can do is attempt to get back to life as normal, including doing those things that I love, and part of that, for me, is getting back into blogging.

I do hope to get back to posting weekly content; although, as I have discovered in these past few weeks, every day can be completely different, so if my posts are somewhat sporadic in these coming weeks and months, I imagine it will be due to be riding the wave of grief, whatever form that may take. But I hope that in creating some positive posts, it will help to take my mind off everything else, and hopefully the posts can bring some form of happiness and entertainment to those reading the blog.


  1. You're a wonderful writer Ali. Thinking of you always. Much love, Katie xxx

  2. So thankful for you + your honesty Ali. I love you and your heart, and am mindful of and prayerful for you every other day. (+ I cant believe I only just came across this!! What life without Facey does!) x